Tag Archive - symptoms

Giving in?

April 15, 2009 in Inspiration, Multiple Sclerosis, Ourselves And Family, Scripture with 3 Comments

When you see me I’m having a good day. And thanks be to God I have plenty of great days.

But there are “those days” when you don’t see me. When my intentions are good and plentiful yet my abilities are not. It is always a battle when “those days” hit. They generally come on without warning. Initially it is an overwhelming perception that the air around me has become heavy. Every little thing becomes monumental. Just the regular activities of daily living seem like overwhelming tasks that I am unable to accomplish.

The “old me” (before chronic disease became a part of my life) still sees myself as lazy when I don’t follow through with my goals and plans. Especially if this inability includes simple things like getting dressed and getting the bed made and the laundry done. Or even doing simple hygiene things like washing my hair seems too labor intensive.

So I’m trying to get adjusted to the fact that I cannot count on myself to feel great from one day to the next. In fact I am having to realize that if the Lord Himself has allowed this affliction to continue, then HE will show Himself strong through me and obtain glory through it all.

Am I giving in when I realize I cannot do the things that I’ve committed to doing? When I stay in a horizontal position most of the day? When I let my husband or family down regarding plans we’ve made and I can no longer fulfill?

No- I’ve decided not. I am enduring this trial to become stronger in Jesus and to somehow allow Him to show His grace and mercy through me.

No I am not giving in. I am yielding and trusting and praying for a way that this will be used to minister compassion towards someone else who struggles with some of the same “can’t depend on myself” issues.

A Middle of the night plea for prayer

March 14, 2009 in Multiple Sclerosis with 2 Comments

I posted this on twitwall late last night (or early this morning) yet thought I’d move it to the blog. I was desperate for prayer and that was the quickest way to get to my those who might still be up and able to pray.

Here goes:

Needing some prayer support.. discretion advised Edit
Most know that I deal with some pretty chronic bladder and urinary tract issues from the multiple sclerosis. I’ve just gotten through a mini series of bouts with these conditions which give me discomfort and more importantly a rise in body temperature which slows all nerve conduction and makes symptoms that are normally just background noise very up front and noticeable.
One rare and difficult problem I have dealing with this neuro-genic bladder is that there will be times that it won’t empty. It rarely empties fully and this is one reason I am so prone to the infections.
So I self catheterize 2-3 times per day as needed to allow all urine to be moved out of my bladder.
Yet there are these occasions when I have spasms.. the feeling like i am constantly full of urine and in great need of voiding. I can sit down to void and only go a tiny bit. But there is no sleeping because the urge feels so intense and the painful spasms with it make it impossible to sleep.
I am grateful this does not occur often. But right now seems a bad time as I am on a slight dose of steroids from my previous bout of not getting better and becoming so weak. These drugs play havoc on my sleep anyway. Now with the spasms I am asking prayer for sleep tonight.
I’ve taken some medications to help with the spasms. I honestly don’t know what else to do but to pray and ask for your prayers as well.
I’ve had a great and productive day. Until about an hour before reclining for bed. Now it is just amounting of potty sitting or getting in and right back out of the bed.

I will use this time to pray intensely for those whom I know that are suffering a much worse fate at this time in their lives. I will seek God and ask Him to encourage your hearts as you serve the kingdom by praying at His throne in the flesh.

Love to all

Horizontal

March 5, 2009 in Multiple Sclerosis, SwitchingGranny's Stuff with 0 Comments

Portrait by Breanna

One of the biggest issues I have with multiple scleoris is that I am unable to depend on myself. Good thing I am a Christian and can consider less of me and more of Him my goal. Otherwise I’d be so frustrated.

The other huge problem I have is that dealing with a chronic illness makes me self involved. The Lord knows my desire is to be selfless and a servant to others.

I blogged about my issues with urinary tract infections last week. And the most recent one caused me to feel I was going down hill quickly. Like a train on the back side of a mountain. Faster than I could keep up with. And my back was aching along with chills & fever. So I emailed a physician friend and of course she suggested that I get to the E-room to be sure it wasn’t a kidney infection that could get into my blood stream and be hard to treat. (it was Sunday morning)

So we reluctantly made the trip to emergency. It was a better experience than I’d anticipated. Nice folks and not an all day affair.
My temp was down at that time. My urine came out showing very little problems. My blood work was fine. Yet I was clearly in pain and miserable. They ultimately did a cat scan to check for a kidney stone. Nope

But they decided that since I take antibiotics prophylactically, and had indeed taken 3 cepro last week. It is possible that an early infection wouldn’t show up. So they are treating me like it is a uti that was heading towards my kidney.

Who knows.. makes me wonder sometimes if I should give up trying to find out why I am down when I am down. Just treat when I need to treat and wait to get well again.

My symptoms were so bad I had to also take pyridium. And it helped. By Tuesday I felt well enough to take Breanna to her dance class.

But that was it. Since then I’ve been horizontal on my sofa. Sad but true. How desperately I want to have energy and strength enough to just do things around the house. Yesterday I tried one of my amphetamine pills for ms fatigue. No help at all. Fever off and on.

Can’t do much more than lay with my precious macbook on my lap. And lots of praying because besides needing it myself.. I can serve the the Lord and others by engaging with my Lord and the privilege of prayer that He has given me.

Hoping to present a better report soon.
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