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This can’t be
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Sounds like a excerpt from a chapter from one of Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s books on dealing with grief. She says grief will occur when one looses a goal that is of importance to them. I used to teach this in Lamaze classes because I knew people might grieve if their labor and birth didn’t go as they’d imagined. (sadly I now believe that preparing people to expect to not have pain in labor was setting them up for grief)
Some people keep personal things within families quiet. Especially when dealing with health issues and family crisis situations. My Mother raised me to not discuss Religion/ Politics/ or Money. She also felt that things about health and family were also to be kept private. I just don’t agree; how can people engage in deep relationships without the discussion of the topics that make us who we are?
There have been several 180° turns in my life. Most often they included the topics above. Previous posts go into my journey which included marrying Tommy when I was only 15. Immediately changing social economic situations. Becoming a Mother when I was 18. Becoming a Christian at 21. Falling away from my relationship with Jesus and returning more passionately while in my 30s. Being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and becoming a grand mother in my 40s.
In my 50′s I’ve been learning grace from humility and significance from loss.
I believe my compassion for others has increased greatly due to my own suffering. And that’s a good thing!!
Now the shock that is causing me to again have to “walk by faith” to re examine all the promises I cling to; especially Romans 8:28.
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God-those whom he has called according to his plan”
Our youngest son has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. He is only 33. He is the Father of our precious Grand daughter.
This post is to be continued.
He is Returning
The whole situation surrounding the fellow who predicted the rapture or God’s return on Saturday has saddened me. Because it’s causing those who don’t yet believe to have more reason to mock and make fun of real truth. And it seems that even my brothers and sisters in Christ have jumped in the scoffers wagon.
My concern is that this attitude will desensitize people regarding the absolute truth of God’s promises that He’ll cause His faithful ones to rise “in the twinkling of an eye” ”at the last trumpet” with “the dead in Christ rising first” “to meet Him in the clouds”.
Yes- He is returning
"Caught up together in the clouds"
Here is a chapter of Scripture I feel lead to share: “2nd book of Peter chapter 3
“This is now the second letter that I am writing to you, beloved. In both of them I am stirring up your sincere mind by way of reminder, that you should remember the predictions of the holy prophets and the commandment of the Lord and Savior through your apostles, knowing this first of all, that scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires.They will say, “Where is the promise of his coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all things are continuing as they were from the beginning of creation.” For they deliberately overlook this fact, that the heavens existed long ago, and the earth was formed out of water and through water by the word of God, and that by means of these the world that then existed was deluged with water and perished. But by the same word the heavens and earth that now exist are stored up for fire, being kept until the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.
But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you,not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.
Since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness,waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set on fire and dissolved, and the heavenly bodies will melt as they burn! But according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.
Final Words
Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace.And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, as he does in all his letters when he speaks in them of these matters. There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures. You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.”
We’re called to live every day as if it is the day of His return. He who was and is and is yet to come.
Not Popular being Peculiar
Matthew 7:13
“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light; Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.” (2 Peter 2:9-10)
Peculiar! Check out that word in Websters as an adjective and right away you can see that this is not the accepted norm. Yet God’s people are not of this world. Beyond not being normal I’m hated! “If the world hates you, realize that it hated me before it hated you.” (John 15:18)
“Listen to the word of the LORD, all who tremble at his word. Your relatives, who hate you and exclude you for my name’s sake, say, “Let the LORD show his glory; then we will see your joy.” But they will be put to shame.”( Isaiah 66:5)
“Blessed are those who are persecuted for doing what God approves of. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them.” (Matthew 5:10)
God warns us as believers over and over in the holy scriptures not to be deceived:
“Those who try to live a godly life because they believe in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. But evil people and phony preachers will go from bad to worse as they mislead people and are themselves misled. However, continue in what you have learned and found to be true. You know who your teachers were. From infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures. They have the power to give you wisdom so that you can be saved through faith in Christ Jesus. Every Scripture passage is inspired by God. All of them are useful for teaching, pointing out errors, correcting people, and training them for a life that has God’s approval. They equip God’s servants so that they are completely prepared to do good things.” (2 Timothy 3:12-17)
Soon after I was saved I read Johanna Michaelsen’s book “The Beautiful Side of Evil“. I was profoundly moved by this book. To know that what looks beautiful is not necessarily of God. Here is a link to a blog post with a short and recent interview with Johanna.
It’s one thing to have the “World” hate you. But really difficult to have to disagree with your brothers and sisters in Christ! They scream “UNITY & GRACE”! I’m not neglecting unity or grace. Yet I am not sacrificing TRUTH for the sake of unity. “You believe that there is one God. That’s fine! The demons also believe that, and they tremble with fear.”( James 2:19)
So this goes deeper than unity and belief. This is about the “wide gate” and the “many” who go through it, and the “narrow gate” which few go through.
“Enter through the narrow gate because the gate and road that lead to destruction are wide. Many enter through the wide gate.” (Matthew 7:13)
Monday’s Illusion
Monday’s are an illusion. Some people feel overwhelmed regarding the full week of work ahead. Others look at Monday mornings
Beauty any day of the week
as a fresh start. Our thoughts about Monday’s are just unique ways we consider ourselves amidst a particular named day of the week.
For our oldest son, every other Monday is the beginning of three days off work. For my recently deceased Father in Law last Monday was the final eve of his life. For myself, Monday’s are generally a sweet catch up day from a busy weekend and precious time alone, as my dear husband returns to another week of work.
Just remember that Monday’s are what you make them.
Consider that your thoughts about Mondays are easily re-directed. I’m reminded of a common quote from the artist Rob Ross who, when encouraging people to use their imaginations so often said “It’s your world and you can make it any way you want it.”
So make your Monday mornings good ones. Remember that your outlook and attitude can make a huge difference on someone else’s.
“This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24
What I learned from my dying Mother
I wrote this a couple of weeks before my Mother died. I had moved in with her to care for her during the final two months of her life. I was able to share with her what I’d written and she smiled:
This Rose is for you Mother
What I’ve learned from my Mother:
I have learned that her heart is bigger than I’d ever given her credit for.
I have learned that God’s grace transcends our circumstances.
I have learned that one can suffer to the point of death while still considering the needs of others before oneself.
I have learned that is indeed more blessed to give than to receive.
I have learned not to fret the small things.
I have learned that it is possible to endure very difficult things without complaining.
I have learned the importance of family.
I have learned how insignificant material things are.
I have learned how swiftly this life passes by.
I am still learning to live by faith rather than by sight.
I am learning how to be humble.
I am learning how to be a servant.
I kept a blog of emails during the two months I lived with Mother titled “My Mother’s Journey towards death”
It is a compilation of emails I sent to friends who were praying and their email replies. The unique thing was that my Mother did not believe in God. Yet at the end she took up a proposition of a very good friend of her’s to ask if He exists.
Why me?
Pondering why I of all people might am able to comprehend with all the saints the significance of this holy day season.
Why me
I was raised by loving and intelligent parents who did not see a need for a Savior.
Easter was about gathering with family for a time of eating, drinking and as children hunting easter eggs. I always got a new dress, never understanding why.
There is no reason in the natural as to why I am now in awe of the divine sacrifice God made by sending His son Jesus Christ to die and shed His blood on behalf of my need.
Yet, I have been redeemed by His blood. Because He died I shall live forevermore.
There is nothing I could have done to obtain so great a salvation. ”So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.” (Rom 9:16)
Even to believe this truth is beyond my finite mind. It is by His Word that I have faith to know. (Rom 10:17)
Why me? ”Because he chose me before the foundations of the world to be perfect in His presence.” (Eph 1:4)
“Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gift.” (2 Corinthians 9:15)
Tangible Love
“But there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.”
Nearing the end of worship at church Tommy left the sanctuary to get Breanna from Sunday school so she could partake of communion with us.
I’ve been dealing with extra fatigue as of recent; thus I was purposely not standing while praising God like I normally do.
One of my precious friends was sitting next to me. She began to get up for a song and noticed that I wasn’t standing. Instead of getting up she reached her hand over and grasp mine. She and I praised the Lord in song together.
Her gesture was filled with Christ Jesus Himself.
Later today I began to ponder the depth of the love we share as brothers and sisters in Christ and joint heirs together with Israel together in the inheritance promised by the Messiah Jesus through the gospel. I’ve experienced this tangible expression of love at other times with friends. And it’s always been with those who are my brothers and sisters! I began to feel sad for people who don’t share in such a depth of closeness either with friends or their own families.
Are you lonely? Have you a friend who sticks closer than a brother? Do you know that becoming a part of the body of Christ allows you immediate access to such relationships? When you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior you immediately are born into a family of believers. It’s something I honestly don’t think the world (non-believers) are able to grasp.
Yet my sister expressed that tangible love towards me today and I am simply touched.
Today from tears to praise
Today I woke knowing I was still exceptionally down physically. And I’d even fallen asleep pretty much when Tommy did that’s unusual as he goes to sleep and I stay in bed watching podcasts, reading facebook or watching Netflix. Tommy is one of those guys who shuts his eyes and is snoring sweetly within minutes. He has kindly allowed gadgets and laptops in bed with us. As long as I turn down the brightness and use ear buds. ((there have been occasions when I’ve laughed so hard that it has kept him awake)) but that’s not my story tonight.
After falling asleep earlier than usual I’d hoped to wake feeling well enough to enjoy doing some things around the house with Tommy today. If you only knew how selflessly good he is to me you might also know why I desire to feel my best to make the time we’re able to spend together blessed.
Yet, when I awoke I was very sore and achy.The lower backache that so often goes along with a urinary tract infection. And if I had a uti that would explain my serious fatigue of recent. Also would be the explanation for the night up with bladder spasms earlier this week. Sadly this morning things were worse. The fatigue, the pain, the lack of ability. The sun shining outside only caused me more disappointment regarding my inabilities. Tommy is so kind, he just wants me to be happy. Even propped up on the sofa with my mac or my ipad. If he knows I’m enjoying myself in any way and content- he’s happy. He was working in the back yard with a project he’s desired to begin working on since its begun to get warm. He needs to tear down much of the deck work my Father did maybe 40 years ago so it can be replaced w/ wood that is not rotting and buckling making it very treacherous for my dragging feet to walk over. Today was the beginning of that project for him and he was taking down the lattice work rails. I wanted to either be out there with him or inside accomplishing some things to help our house seem tidied up.
But I soon found myself laying on my bed crying. I don’t cry! {Seriously it’s just not my normal response} Yet I was and needed to quickly get over it, knowing that Tommy finding me crying would break his heart. (of course he knows me all to well and would later see that I had been) I prayed, I ask God to please please help me focus on others and gain the strength I needed just to enjoy some home time w/ my wonderful husband. I took some meds that I am prescribed for MS fatigue- this I apparently don’t do enough.. somehow thinking that taking the drugs is going to turn into something I have to do to get through the day, and THIS I DON’T WANT. But I knew I needed the help today.
Because of your prayers, my prayers and the meds, things began to come together. I was able to send a card to a dear sister who has recently lost her Mother. I was able to reach out to some online who I know are hurting and needed prayer and a kind word. I was able to make Tommy some nice ice tea and prepare him some food. Several things got done. I laid down thinking I would now be exhausted for the afternoon/evening. Right away our niece and her precious son stopped in. He’s so cute see the pictures below:
Our precious Great Nephew Eli
After they left I said to Tommy “put your shoes back on.. we’re going to get the groceries we need” This was something Tommy had wanted me to do last night and I was unable.
While at the store Breanna (Granddaughter) telephoned to see if we wanted her to come over to spend the night before church tomorrow. Initially I told her that Granny was just not feeling so well and that we’d try to pick her up on the way to church tomorrow. Well she then reminded me with the sweetest voice “Remember- before you call the Dr. Call me because I’m your good medicine”
"Remember before you call the Dr. Call me- I'm good medicine"
Oh how we love that child. We called and picked her up on the way home from the grocery. She’s tucked in beside me sound to sleep. And you know what? I’m at the moment feeling better and very thankful that I was able to accomplish some things today.
Many people who deal w/ chronic illness find that even talking on the phone is too much effort. I’ve heard people say that it’s way easier for them to type than to talk, and sometimes that is my situation. I cannot explain the fatigue associated with multiple sclerosis…. Except to say that the air itself is heavy. Every movement even thought is done through weighted air. So it’s not that one is tired or sleepy.. but just unable to move through that heavy thick air to do the things I want to do. And when I’m having a particularly rough time due to fever or the heat outside then it is even hard for me to sit upright. That’s when I’m horizontal or sideways surfing.
That’s my story for today and I know some who will surely relate.
“Remember your word to your servant
in which you have made me hope.
This is my comfort in my affliction,that your promise gives me life.
Before I was afflicted I went astray,
but now I keep your word.
You are good and do good;
teach me your statutes, with my whole heart I keep your precepts;but I delight in your law.
It is good for me that I was afflicted,
that I might learn your statutes.
The law of your mouth is better to me
than thousands of gold and silver pieces.
Your hands have made and fashioned me;
give me understanding that I may learn your commandments.
Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice,
because I have hoped in your word.
I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous,
and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
Let your steadfast love comfort me
according to your promise to your servant.
Let your mercy come to me, that I may live;
for your law is my delight.
Forever, O Lord, your word
is firmly fixed in the heavens.
Your faithfulness endures to all generations;
you have established the earth, and it stands fast.
By your appointment they stand this day,
for all things are your servants.
If your law had not been my delight,
I would have perished in my affliction.
I will never forget your precepts,
for by them you have given me life.
I am yours; save me,
for I have sought your precepts.
I am severely afflicted;
give me life, O Lord, according to your word!
Accept my freewill offerings of praise, O Lord,
and teach me your rules.
I hold my life in my hand continually,
but I do not forget your law.
I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I hope in your words.
My eyes are awake before the watches of the night,
that I may meditate on your promise.
Hear my voice according to your steadfast love;
O Lord, according to your justice give me life.”
Verses Quoted from Psalm 119 ESV
,
View from my sofa
Limited perspective – Hope forever
Sounds like an oxymoron. Let me assure you it isn’t at all. Because of a progressive disease process (multiple sclerosis), I’ve become more intimately acquainted with my sofa and less involved with the real world outside my house. In so many ways I’m terribly disappointed because I just love life and being involved with people brings me great joy.
Because of the Internet and my interactions with people online my life has remained interesting and full of purpose. Many of the people I’ve come to know and love I would not have known if I were still actively keeping up with two jobs and my pursuit of personal fitness.
No doubt life as I knew it has changed! My view from my sofa is limited indeed. But the things that really matter, the fruit that is produced for eternity may actually have increased. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.”
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”
Either I will see healing in this flesh or when I am in His presence. Until then my desire is to respond to my circumstance in a way that brings Him glory and encourages others. So many dear people are alone on their sofas or sickbeds. Many have no hope for a good day that allows them the ability to get out and do some of the things they enjoy. My heart aches for them and my prayers are for their encouragement.
It’s true- when we focus on others our own situation becomes less important. Philippians 2:3 “Don’t act out of selfish ambition or be conceited. Instead, humbly think of others as being better than yourselves.”
