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Giving in?

April 15, 2009 in Inspiration, Multiple Sclerosis, Ourselves And Family, Scripture with 3 Comments

When you see me I’m having a good day. And thanks be to God I have plenty of great days.

But there are “those days” when you don’t see me. When my intentions are good and plentiful yet my abilities are not. It is always a battle when “those days” hit. They generally come on without warning. Initially it is an overwhelming perception that the air around me has become heavy. Every little thing becomes monumental. Just the regular activities of daily living seem like overwhelming tasks that I am unable to accomplish.

The “old me” (before chronic disease became a part of my life) still sees myself as lazy when I don’t follow through with my goals and plans. Especially if this inability includes simple things like getting dressed and getting the bed made and the laundry done. Or even doing simple hygiene things like washing my hair seems too labor intensive.

So I’m trying to get adjusted to the fact that I cannot count on myself to feel great from one day to the next. In fact I am having to realize that if the Lord Himself has allowed this affliction to continue, then HE will show Himself strong through me and obtain glory through it all.

Am I giving in when I realize I cannot do the things that I’ve committed to doing? When I stay in a horizontal position most of the day? When I let my husband or family down regarding plans we’ve made and I can no longer fulfill?

No- I’ve decided not. I am enduring this trial to become stronger in Jesus and to somehow allow Him to show His grace and mercy through me.

No I am not giving in. I am yielding and trusting and praying for a way that this will be used to minister compassion towards someone else who struggles with some of the same “can’t depend on myself” issues.

I’ll take my Psalms Plain

March 27, 2009 in Book Review, Inspiration, Scripture, SwitchingGranny's Stuff with 0 Comments

It was exciting to receive ” The Word of Promise The Gift of Psalms” from Thomas Nelson Publisher’s to review for the Book Review Blogger program I’ve enrolled in.

The book is a beautifully bound book that looks and feels like an expensive gift edition. Pages are embossed with gold. And tucked in the back of the book are 3 cds that are dramatic audio renditions with background music of 30 of the Psalms and devotionals from the book read by professional actors

Yet the actual read of the book was difficult for me. I am a lover of the book of Psalms. And each of the 50 selected Psalm excerpts are laid out nicely (NKJV) on the left page with the right page being the devotional. Something just did not feel right about the devotional aspect of the book. It was like the Psalms alone weren’t complete enough to minister to the reader. As if there is a deeper explanation needed for us to understand the intent of God.

The same being true of the included cd’s. If the cds were only readings of the actual Psalms I’d be listening to them over and over. Yet with the devotionals read after each Psalm I won’t care to listen again.

I doubt I’ll be recommending this book, mostly because of the added content beyond the Psalms. I’d love this exact format for the entire book of Psalms without the added content. I find the book of Psalms alone to be a devotional fully complete in themselves

What I will be glad to do is to “re-gift” this book. Because of it’s beauty. I’m sure anyone who gets this book will be initially very impressed as I was.

Thank you Thomas Nelson Publishing for encouraging your book review bloggers to fairly review the books received either negatively or positively.

I’m happily awaiting my next book to review.

Breanna leaves rose & note and hugs Grandpa saying bye to her MaMaw

March 20, 2009 in Home Made Creations by Tommy & I, Inspiration, Ourselves And Family, SparklesGlitter with 0 Comments

Breanna says goodbye to her MaMaw Delores

Keeps me Humble

March 5, 2009 in Inspiration, Multiple Sclerosis, Scripture with 0 Comments

Always was very thankful for good health. I love life and people. And most of all I have absolute confidence in and passion for my Lord Jesus.

There is this thorn in my flesh. Multiple Sclerosis! Although I’ve not been disabled much regarding mobility (only when I’m hot from either external heat or an internal rise in temperature), I do face “issues” from the MS that cause my good health to be like a yo-yo.

When I am feeling good I am great. And love every minute of it. Yet I can be shot down in a matter of hours.

There is “background noise” that I deal with daily. The fatigue, memory problems, urinary retention to name a few. I deal with these things with medications and regular self catheterizing.

There are things that aren’t so common like episodes of migraines or spasticity.. also dealt with mostly pharmaceutically.

The urinary retention is a big problem for me. Because if my bladder isn’t emptied all the way it is a breeding ground for bacteria. Yet self catheterizing no matter how clean the technique or sterile the equipment, catheterizing introduces bacteria into the urinary tract.

Thus I’m really prone to urinary tract infections. These come on so rapidly. I don’t always know what I’m dealing with right away. Because my first symptoms are extreme weakness both physically and emotionally. I’ll feel like I’ve suddenly gotten really lazy and so easily weepy. Then once the fever hits I become dizzy and even weaker from the rise in body temperature.

So this is very difficult for me. I just hate being on my back. And I hate to complain. I desire to be well and fully serving my God. And I know that He can get glory even though I have this thorn in my flesh. He shows His strength when I am weak.

This is likely a warfare with satan wanting me to be discouraged and unfruitful. And I admit I do get discouraged. But it is only because I become weary physically. I do not become weary spiritually. By His mercies that are new every morning and by HIs grace I am kept hopeful. I know the ultimate end. And in the mean time I know that there is healing in His wings. He is able.
And if I do not find healing while on this earth, I will still be fruitful. I can still encourage others. I can still fruitfully serve Him.

satan has no claims on me…. I’m under the shed blood of Jesus- redeemed and awaiting my reunion with Him.

My help comes from the hills from the Creator of heaven and earth.. who was and is and is to come.

Amen

Birthday tribute to Mom *I miss you*

March 5, 2009 in Inspiration, Ourselves And Family, SwitchingGranny's Stuff with 0 Comments

I am so thankful that you were able to see most of this slide show before your journeyed towards your death. Mother I love you.. I cry with the pictures and memories.. and with the words. I love you… Soon I will re edit this with many more pictures from Craigs family and MJ and more of the older ones from you and Dad… the good years.

Thank You Mom for allowing me to take this journey to death by your side.
I just hope I can follow in such a way that those who journey with me will find their way to truth and hope in the Lord Jesus. Love you Mom Bye

Autumn Walk

March 5, 2009 in Garden, Inspiration, Ourselves And Family with 0 Comments

Just a little walk around the neighborhood is so exceptional today. I want to hold my breath so the colors don’t blow away. Holding still wishing the glory could remain just a little longer. Brilliance which warms the soul. Seeing how well adorned the leaves of the trees are before they go to sleep.

Reminded of this verse: Romans 1:20 “From the creation of the world, God’s invisible qualities, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly observed in what he made. As a result, people have no excuse.”






Alone Still I will follow

March 5, 2009 in Church Related, Inspiration, Ourselves And Family, Scripture, SwitchingGranny's Stuff with 2 Comments

I’ve again gathered with the members of my family to celebrate Christmas. *however we’re dwindling in numbers* As there are likely many of you who have had to endure this holiday season with people you loved and admired having passed away during this past year.And that is sad. Most folks are in tune to the depth of despair you must endure to have be dealing with a major holiday and death plans at the same time. I am sure that there is a loneliness in that.But when I walked into the Pre Christmas Service last Sunday I was overwhelmed by the beauty of His presence. The sacred time of offering up worship that would bring Him great joy. As He sees His chosen gathering to worship and remember what he has done for us.

Yet my dear husband was outside of the sanctuary preparing some of the food for celebration feast we were to enjoy after the church service. My precious Granddaughter was up way too late the evening before and was in a mood that was like lying on the pew not showing the least interest in the time of worship. So I walked her out to sit with her Grandfather in the other room.

As I walked back to my seat I heard the sounds of some of the most meaningful Christmas hymns to me. And I looked around and saw families who were really into worshiping our risen Lord in Spirit and in Truth. And I sat alone. I thought of the folks I know who have gathered together for generations to worship the Lord together. Especially at Christmas time.

But I wasn’t raised in one of those homes. My folks were wonderful in the non Christian since.. they loved me and they were very active in their businesses and organizations that they felt strongly about. My Mother was even the very first director of Planned Parenthood here in my home town. They weren’t church goers unless you can count the boater folks they ran with having

drinks on Sat evening out on the Ohio river and choose to meet up again the next day at the Unitarian Church to drink coffee.. sober up some and discuss issues of the day… if you call this church.. my parents really considered it a group of like minded folks who wanted to help others.

So when I was finally saved at the age of 21 I found myself all alone walking with and worshiping my precious Jesus. To my family I was becoming “one of those Jesus Freaks “So.. though none go with me still I will follow::

So my early years in the church were surely all alone. Yes I was happy to take our two sons who were 14 months apart in age.

And initially my sons were in great Sunday School programs and excelled. I was under the impression after serveral years that they had both given their hearts to God. There was fruit and much very fruitful conversation going on in our home.

My husband was not interested in going at that time. He was a pot smoker.. and felt that he’d need to give that up to come to Jesus.. so he was in no hurry. I knew I couldn’t get him into the kingdom by nagging.. but only by praying and obeying the Lord.. that tells us that our husbands can be won without the Word in 1 Peter 3 By the behavior of their wives!

Sadly to say .. once these young men grew up they did not make choices to remain in any church. Our youngest did try to come back soon before his marriage and his new wife is from a non active catholic upbringing and seems to think she has no need spiritually speaking. And I think our son believes that maybe he doesn’t have a need either.

Our oldest son who was just married a year and a half ago. Has told me recently that he is an Atheist. This was a super difficult thing to hear. Because I knew that when he was young he knew! And I know that now he is older he still knows… yet he has made choices that cause him to deny the existence of our Creator.

So again. though none go with me still I will follow.. still none go with me still I will follow.

I need you committed believing knee benders on twitter. Because when I feel that I’ve some how been called alone on this path towards the throne of God, I will ask your encouragement.

Just saying again.. that especially at this most holy time of year it is rather sad to be following all alone. And loneliness has several different reasons , yet I honestly feel that except type of grief getting through losing someone to death, the next most difficult grief is when one is walking spiritually alone because the ones they love choose not to follow

So I grew up with a family who did not know or glorify the Lord Jesus. Then I found Him when I was a brand new mother and wife. Yet my husband did not want me “preaching” at him.

My sons ultimately have grown up and by their lifestyles they aren’t seeing any need for God in their lives.

There have been other times.. serious times of being in organizations that were put in place as Christian organizations but have moved away from the actual things that made them separate in the first place. And often even among believers I’ve had to take an unpopular stand.

Allowing the one I follow when no one goes with me to hold my hand. O Praise Him The lifter of my head.
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