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Have you ever turned away after knowing Jesus- I did

February 9, 2011 in Church Related, Inspiration, My Story, testimony with 2 Comments

Comfort of home

Here is a bit of my history of turning away after knowing.

After finding salvation through Jesus, maybe a decade or so later.. I lost my way.

It began innocently enough. I began drinking to numb some hurts regarding being literally the only one in my entire family who desired Jesus. Watching my Dad have a miraculous recovery from a devastating stroke yet seeing that he still denied the existence of God.

I began the party lifestyle that I had never experienced (because I was married at 15.. then gave birth to two children before I was 20 and became a Christian) So I gradually moved more into the world and away from Christianity.

I remember well talking w/ my very concerned pastor at the time and telling him that I knew he only saw black & white but that I was seeing gray and that I could no longer remain in a “church” situation that was so narrow.. I still believed in Jesus and was confident about my eternal destiny.

About two years into my “compromise” I found this verse:

“The man that wanders from the way of understanding will find himself in the congregation of the dead.” Proverbs 21:16

This shook me! It was upon seeing that verse that I realized I indeed had fallen away.

At the same time I found myself missing “Worship with the saints”(Oh it was so good back then)

Alcohol by then had overcome my self control. I was drinking every day, hiding the liquor from my husband & kids. I realized the harm in this and had decided to drink only on the weekends. This is not a stab at drinking- some people certainly enjoy a glass of wine or a drink without being in sin. I cannot.

I was riding my bike over by my church building and saw my Pastor outside. I stopped to talk to him and told him of my longing to worship with the congregation again. Yet I wanted him to know that I was not going to be a hypocrite and he needed to know that I still planned to drink. Of course he said.. “just come sister..we’d love to have you”.

So I came back just to worship. Within a couple of weeks I realized I couldn’t get to church due to the severe hangovers I had from my Saturday night drinking. (remember I’d given it up except for the weekends) I had such a hangover one Sunday I ask the Lord to relieve it enough for me to go worship and I would consider returning to Him fully yielded.

He did! During that morning’s worship I experienced such a communion with my precious Papa and realized I was never going to drink again. I came home and informed my sweet not “saved” non-drinking pot-head husband this news. No doubt he thought *ok I’ve heard THAT before*.

But by the grace of God I was set free. And my return to the sheep fold has been like having been alienated from your best friend or your closest family and then being reunited. It has been divine. My faith is sure and my resolve is firm. I’ve been in the darkness and I’ve been in the Light. No matter how “comfortable we manage to make our presentation, the two are not compatible. Light ALWAYS overcomes darkness.

I’m thankful that I never got to the point that I could deny who Jesus is or the work He had already accomplished in me.

Joy unspeakable!  Joy unspeakable and perfect peace.. if indeed you have tasted.. Nothing else satisfies.

1st Thessalonians 5:23-24

“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it”.

Tech at it’s best for Grand parents

January 31, 2011 in All Things Tech, family, My Story, SwitchingGranny's Stuff with 4 Comments

Every Grand parent should have Face Time or Skype to be in touch with their grand kids.

  • To have a before school video chat
  • Your grand kids can show you their new art project in real time
  • The excitement of seeing their smile when they loose their 1st tooth
  • Sharing of ideas (with my SparklesGlittern- a new dance move- she’s developing)
  • Your grand child can read a book to you
  • The ability to have sweet before bedtime ritual’s
  • Nite Nite kisses
  • And my favorite of all: When they want to video chat just to say “I love you”

Heart Melting

You can do this now with FaceTime which can be installed on a new iPod touch or an iPhone 4 or any Mac running Snow Leopard. Or you can just use skype on your PC. Both of these services allow you to talk (when on wifi) without adding to your used minutes. Remember although I’m showing a gallery of screen shots I took while Face Timing with the Grandkids that this is real time video.

Just like the Jetsons!

Then your 7 yr old grand daughter can ask ” Me Maw what are the Jetsons?”

F

I have a dream

January 28, 2011 in Multiple Sclerosis, My Story with 1 Comment

"a baby grand piano"

My dream piano


After I was dx’d with MS in 2003, my Neurologist suggested cognitive rehab to help with the issues I have with memory and comprehension. Yet my insurance would not cover the speech therapist in our area who apparently is the only one who does this with any degree of success.

So a very good friend who is also a Nurse Practitioner suggested that I take a math class or learn to play an instrument. Well.. no choice there for me. I have a calculator for math equations.

And it just so happened that my next door neighbor at the time was discussing her desire to begin piano lessons again. She’d hired a tutor who was going to come to her house and teach her weekly at a very reasonable price. I mentioned my desire to ultimately begin lessons. And she offered me her home and baby grand piano to take lessons.

I was able to get her tutor to come to her home an hour early every week for me. And I had freedom to go to my neighbors as often as I wanted to practice. (my neighbor was a car salesman who lived alone and was really never at home).

Between the illness and death of my Father and my own brain surgery and health issues we continued piano lessons for about 2 or 3 years. Although progress was slow I did ultmately go from Thompson’s lessons for little fingers (a piano lesson for little kids) to the second book for adults. Very slow.. but oh the awesome opportunity to learn something so beautiful.

I am terrible with rhythm and with the attention problems and memory problems.. this experience was tediously slow. Yet my tutor is gifted with the gift of encouragement and continued to spur me on.

Yet my neighbor ultimately moved.. along with her wonderful grand piano. I’ve been praying for one ever since.

Don’t know why I’ve been such a stinker about the baby grand. But it is strange that as big as they are.. I have a space in my home for one of those.. and can’t see any wall space for a regular upright.

So if you have a baby grand and would like to share it with me.. I’d be very blessed. You would be an answer to a long standing prayer of mine.

That is my hope & dream.

Besides a big front porch to hang out on after piano practice LOL

Help for the Suicide Disease

November 20, 2010 in Brain Surgery, My Story, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Video with 0 Comments

Today is my 5th  anniversary of being free from pain after having an mvd for Trigeminal Neuralgia.
I’m posting video’s in celebration and to inform others.

Pls watch & pray! TN pts often kill themselves!

November 16, 2010 in Brain Surgery, My Story, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Video with 1 Comment

November 22nd will be my 5 year anniversary of my MVD and freedom from the monster of Trigeminal Neuralgia pain.

I am so thankful that I was able to have successful brain surgery to Stop the Pain!

I’m also very grateful for the Trigeminal Neuralgia Association.  This is their new video. And the most informative yet.

Many of these people I’ve met at TNA conferences.

Remember to pray.. TN kills because the patients kill themselves!

Online as in eternity I’m whole and well

October 15, 2010 in All Things Tech, Church Related, Inspiration, Multiple Sclerosis, My Story, Scripture with 1 Comment

"iMacandRosesinVase"

We all know that things aren’t always as they appear online. And I for one am grateful for this. Because since my diagnosis of multiple sclerosis in 2003 my journey in this life has taken a detour that I’d never imagined. I surely have more days that I’m physically horizontal than upright. Yet from your perspective I’m either out and enjoying you personally or online fully whole. Because you don’t have to see the actual real- time picture for our friendship to grow.

"LayingonSofawithLaptop"

I’m a lover of people; and without daily interaction with others I would surely be overwhelmed with depression as well as the issues of living with a chronic illness.

Yet life is full and exciting.

I’m so glad we have the technologies for interaction in New Social Media that allow me to have interesting and meaningful conversations with you from my sofa! I’m still making friends that are genuine. I’m still able to serve in my local church even while in my pajamas. I’m able to travel the world. And most importantly I’m able with the direction of the Holy Spirit to make an eternal difference right here right now!

What are your ideas on how we can help others who are chronically ill or home bound take advantage of this new medium of communication?

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. Psalm 34:5

You have done many miraculous things, O LORD my God. You have made many wonderful plans for us. No one compares to you! I will tell others about your miracles, which are more than I can count. Psalm 40:5

A Zap that throws you to your knees- And people who care

September 10, 2010 in Brain Surgery, My Story, slideshow, Trigeminal Neuralgia with 4 Comments

Imagine suddenly experiencing a painful jolt that is shockingly intolerable and indescribable at the same time. A zap that is so intense and unexpected that it can throw you to your knees even before you knew what had hit you.

The immediate after effects of post traumatic stress and the anxiety of considering another zap of this pain is beyond coping with.

Then you learn this horrible pain has a name: Trigeminal Neuralgia; also known as tic douloureaux. Trigeminal Neuralgia is considered the worst pain known to mankind. I heard a Neurosurgeon describe it as The Mother of all pinched nerves.

A neurological condition caused by a branch of the largest of your cranial nerves being pinched. The only hope of dulling the intensity of the pain is taking large doses of anti seizure medications that are known for their numbing and often disabling side effects.

This rare condition affects only 1 in 15,000 people. The paralyzing pain is most commonly felt in the face or jaw.

When you are suddenly dealt this blow, Then the shock of knowing you will continue to endure episodes of this pain is as emotionally traumatic as dealing with the pain itself. There is nothing more isolating than living with a condition invisible to others, which changes everything about your life. There is hope in knowledge and support in the company of others who have experienced this monster and understand.

This is where the Trigeminal Neuralgia Association comes in by drawing together the Physicians who treat this condition and the people who suffer. TNA has a great website full of articles, research and stories of others who have survived TN. They offer a discussion board so that patients can support one another. Also offering conferences both regional and national to bring together the patients and the Physicians who present advancements in treatment.

Gathering together with others who have experienced this pain and those who understand is a family reunion of sorts.

I can’t imagine anywhere else where hundreds of people are so focused on a presentation while at the same time many are holding scarves to their faces, grimacing, others holding suckers of potent opioid medication between their lips.

These people have been forced by pain to come to the understanding of medical procedures and treatments that most have never heard of. Where else can you go into a room with hundreds of people who are sharing their stories of microvascular decompression surgery, percutaneous stereotactic rhizotomy, glycerol rhizotomy, balloon compression; and actually understand what these things mean. All with the common interest in a condition that affects so very few.

Yet Tommy and I were enormously grateful to have been given the opportunity to come and experience our 2nd National Convention of the Trigeminal Neuralgia Association.

Our conference was offered at the prestigious Mayo Clinic at Rochester, MN. There was comfort in gathering with others who know first hand about this horror. We felt immediately like family when meeting others who have or still are experiencing this indescribable sensation.

We also felt it almost a mission to attend the conference with a success story. I had brain surgery (MVD) for my trigeminal neuralgia in 2006 and have not had the pain return. ((My Story here)) And without the TNA I may have not known this surgical technique was even something to consider. The sad fact is that once people do get relief for their pain they tend to move on with their lives and no longer show up at TNA events. Then those who are suffering and hearing about the treatment options available only look around seeing primarily those who have experienced failure of treatment and are still in pain.

We learned so much and met so many wonderful people. I hope you will take time to check out the TNA’s Website and become a little more aware of the fact that there are people who suffer the unimaginable and survive.

The above blog post is dedicated to David Simmons who is the 1st TN sufferer to give me hope. He introduced me to the Dr. who ultimately stopped my pain. Today (publishing day for this post) is David’s 7th year anniversary being pain free after his MVD! Thank you David.. Thank you Dr Peter Konrad.

Switched to the path of life!

May 4, 2010 in Garden, Inspiration, My Story, SwitchingGranny's Stuff, testimony with 2 Comments

"azalea&path"

Found my diary entry from July 31, 1978!  I’m leaving the spelling and grammar as it was written:

“Yes its true. I have accepted Jesus as my Saviour!”

I have very mixed emotions about this. Although deep down I know I’m glad and at peace about this decision. But on the outside I am a little scared and skeptical. I will pray that this decision will not hurt my family. Tom is scared too. I can see it- he’s afraid I’ll get too involved and freak out like Danny *his brother* or our neighbors- Mary & Dave. But I feel this will be a very personal thing for me. I believe I will be a better person with my new found faith in Christ.

Today was a very trying day after making this decision. Tony’s cutting teeth and I’ve just been worn out emotionally.

I’m going to pray that I will be able to cope with these children better. And I am going to be a better person. I know I may sound crazy, but I think this is what I’ve needed. It’s just all so new & strange to me. I’m excited and afraid at the same time. I know things will change. I know it’s for the best. I’m confident that Tom will soon convert or see the light and then I’m sure life will be richer for all of us. He’ll have to make the decision on his own, so I will not push him.

Today I believe I was a bad example of a newly saved Christian. Only because I was excited, confused and emotionally tired. But I’ve prayed tonight and feel much better about my decision.

I knew this would be a special day for me. I knew I’d likely accept Jesus today. I know it sounds strange and you must think that someone has “gotten to me”, but I’ve done this all on my own. We did visit a church last weekend. It was all young people in blue jeans or whatever. They looked like regular freaks. But they were so sincere and into it. No one in this church pushed Jesus on us. They weren’t totally crazy like those Penticostals. They were real down to earth.

Last night I started reading the book 666 by Salem Kirban. Corky gave it to me a couple weeks ago. Its all about the revelation and the rappture  and  the tribulation times to come. I’m actually believing these things to be true. Something is impressing “truth” in my heart.

I’m not going to flip out and start preaching to everyone (although I really hope Tom will see these things also).

So at the end of the book there is this “invitation” asking you to pray and recieve Jesus as your Saviour. Believing that He is real and that He died for you and bled for you and then rose again to live evermore at the right hand of God. It said if you believe this is true in your heart then you need to ask Him in your heart.. asking Him to forgive you for your sins and give you new life eternal in Him.

Well I did it! I knew I should. I don’t know what the future holds.. but I know it is about Jesus Christ and living forever.”

About the MVD surgery I had in 06

April 7, 2009 in Brain Surgery, My Story, SwitchingGranny's Stuff, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Video with 1 Comment

This seemed to be a little easier than the surgery I had.. but it was the same one. (my anatomy was somehow different so it took 5 1/2 hrs) But it was successful for me. In fact I’ve seen Dr. Casey speak at the TNA national conference in Michigan. Dr. Peter Konrad at Vanderbilt did my surgery.
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