I found this draft I’d written just days after my only sister’s death last December. I was unable to publish it at that time.
She donated her body to Indiana University’s Anatomical society and tomorrow they will have a memorial
service and burial for her and others who donated their remains to benefit future health professionals.
It’s time to share her story:
Many desire to know how I am doing with the loss of my sister. This has ripped my heart and yet at the same time given me some peace about her tormented state. Mary Jane was a uniquely wonderful person in so many ways. MJ and I weren’t close as children because of our age differences. Then at the time we could have been she was off literally traveling the world. She was a free spirit in the fullest since of the word. Yet from the beginning of her young life and throughout most of her adult life Mary Jane dealt with profound sadness… ultimately this affected her health. She lost some people who were very important to her- I don’t know that she was able to get over these losses.
MJ made a public profession of her faith after getting involved in a church in her 40s. It wasn’t very long after this that depression and addiction caused her to feel she was a failure. She became faithless because she could not grasp grace. She talked of suicide many times. The medical examiner says there were no signs of suicide when her body was found on that Wednesday evening- I know in my heart that she had not been taking her blood pressure medication, or her high colesterol medications for months. She’d not been eating- only drinking more and more over the past few months. She was also feeling bad with early stages of emphysema and chronic pain both emotional and physical.
In spite of these difficulties MJ was able to enjoy many experiences most of us never do. She lived in Africa, Thailand, Garnish Germany, She lived off the land in the grand canyon for months. She walked alone except for the companionship of a crippled Irish setter 1/3rd of the Application trail. She traveled extensively in Italy and France. She’s sailed the seas. She became an accomplished culinary chief for friends and family. She adored her garden and loved to propagate new starts of plants to share with others. She bought me my favorite rose bush called Bliss (oh the smell of these blooms). Mary Jane was such a giving person that she often gave things she shouldn’t have. Her friends know that there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for you.
MJ died just shy of her 60th birthday. This loss is deeply difficult. Not just that she is gone- but that she was so sad and so tormented for so long before her death.
I will miss my sister until the day I die.
2 Timothy “If we have died with him, we will also live with him;” *vs 11*
and “if we are faithless, He remains faithful–for He cannot deny Himself ” *vs 13*